my corners

sorry for not making an update yesterday. i am sick and yesterday hit me really bad, so i spent my day sleeping and erasing pixels in my pjs.

this post is about the smallheadedness of lecturers! omgs, i wish i was allowed to scream at them and honestly shove their noses in their own arses!!!

i have been told that i'm not allowed to go back and use my space in the clay studio. um, excuse me? so you're telling me that my dad's money is being spent on renting a varsity mac (of which you made him BUY one last year for me because you couldn't spare a mac for my foray into digital work), and your (the lecturers) incredibly limited time (because you're absorbed in you own work and admin and the undergrads) and bullshitty advice??? so, about R20 000 is paying for that? ABSOLUTE BULL KAK!!! i am now so pissed off i could easily break something in your lovely 2D and 3D studio.

who do you think you are that you can tell me this? you're allowing lensey to do painting and digital, why can't i use the clay that my fees have paid for over 4 years?? hey??? explain this to me, oh great primrose. yes, take your time and make me feel like a child because i'm fighting for my own things and my own rights, and make me end up calling my parents and getting them to fight for me, and further devalue my self in this place.

you know i want out of here, because you all have become so fucking complacent in your positions that you think you rule everyone and everything they own and do!!!

i wish you were here right now to understand my frustration at all of you. you have made this system of becoming our peers in teaching, and then when we want to voice out objections, suddenly you put on your senior hat and say, "no no no, little idiot, this is how our world turns".

you know you should be shot. reprimanded. made to actually feel your own inadequacies in our education. you should understand that we're paying for your service. you're the server, i'm the customer. you're supposed to make my stay pleasant, make sure everything works, listen to our complaints and provide a solution, be there at our beck and call, guide us to grow. all i'm feeling now is petty and irritated at YOUR lack of any of these skills.

you are assholes. you know this, you are. what other student would you make buy their own mac, and then leave them alone for an entire year, practically learning all the software by themselves? klava was at least good: he showed me where things are, but even then, i did more of the teaching than you. YOU KNOW HOW MAD THAT MAKES ME FEEL? this department is sucking, because i'm virtually ignored, i'm made to provide everything, and through that, my parents have to pay for your inadequacies. you don't deserve my admiration. you don't deserve your degree to teach. you don't DESERVE my respect carrying on like this.

i am sick of your shit. and the worst part of this, is i have to suffer for this for 2 years because it is impossible for me to go establish myself somewhere else. yes, i have dug this hole. but you don't have the right to bury me.

do me a favour.

REALIZE WHAT YOUR FUCKING IMPACT IS ON YOUR STUDENTS.