dreams

have you ever noticed how seriously WARPED dreams are? and i'm not talking about just the regular dreaming: i'm talking about the ones that are influenced by booze, extracurricular drugs, prescription drugs, herbal remedies, foods and other things you do physically to your body.

i'm not too sure i like my own subconscious sometimes. you know, it's all fine and dandy having those ones that are kinda like children's' books: simple, to the point and fun. but nightmares of poltergeist activity in your own bed that still haunts you hours after the dream? not fun. in my life experience, i have unfortunately managed to attract these bad vibes spirits, and they've never been fun. had them threaten me regularly in my own home where my parents lived for 2 years before they conceived me there, and what-not. i don't enjoy it. and i especially don't enjoy it when the bloody things come into my dreams (and yes, i even mean the cum, because my terror is their orgasm). it shapes the entire day, and today, all i've wanted to do is cry, AND not even from that dream, there was another.

i have to wonder, what kind of sick person am i that can end up with these dreams? okay, a chase scene i understand, that makes sense, but then zombies? intelligent zombies that are stuck in a semi-rotted state, like a victim of a car crash or bear mauling, and are not in actual fact zombies because their bodies are still living in that semi-rotted state? and then intelligent zombies that can talk and organize like regular twisted human beings with a vendetta for taking over the world and farming the non-zombies (i'm not talking resident evil or dawn of the dead clever, i'm talking full-on borg mentality WITH individualism)? okay, and then here's the kicker that should actually put me in a nuthouse, or asylum, or anti-psychotics: lesbian zombie porn. WHAT THE FUCK?????

i'm really disturbed by this. i mean, what does it say about me? am i sick, over-imaginative? do i have really bad taste in foods, that the kind i choose shit out this kind of psychic crap?

why am i telling you this?

i guess it's because this blog will be a... digital, realtime installation. you're the ones seeing it and deciding on it, and i'm the one showing and listening and responding to it. yes, i also want to get this off my chest, and maybe perhaps have you guys say 'omg, i'm that twisted too! let me tell you about it...' yip, that's what i want. also 'cause i promised an update on tuesday and i have yet to put my mission statement to paper about the purpose of this blog.

ja. chow mense